Have you ever wonder if YOU can do something to communicate more effectively with those around you?
While there are books, seminars and organizations could teach you how, there is another method (more customized) that proves to be even more effective and with quicker results: Coaching.
Usually books, teaching or training on improving interpersonal communication are focused on what actions to take (short-term), not on how to recognize and remove the internal barriers. Coaching has lasting effects, since its focused on changing behaviours and removing internal barriers specific to each person. Once removed, you will be surprised by the positive effects on your interpersonal communication.
Not convinced?! 🙂 Let’s explore three internal barriers that could affect your communication:
- Negative emotions
- Low self-esteem
- Lack of commitment
1. The negative emotions from previous experiences, if not released, continue to hunt us and get expressed when we expect less. They are triggered by similar situations that show up in our life, without consciously recognizing them. Did it occur to you to get upset or raise the tone of your voice for something that… was not really a big deal? It could be one of those situations, that triggered past emotions not released. As long as you don’t identify and release them, they could affect your interpersonal communication since others won’t really know from where your overreaction is coming from.
2. Low self-esteem takes a huge toll on interpersonal communication. Not having the courage to express your ideas (because you believe they’re not worthy), could send a different message than the one you want to project. It might mislead other people, leaving them to believe whatever they want (which might be different from what you want). Low self-esteem could also show up as lack of confidence, or by not taking responsibility for your own actions. Do I have to mention the impact on the interpersonal communication?! Who would like to spend more time or collaborate with someone who doesn’t take responsibility for his actions? Or who does not trust himself, and is waiting for help all the time?
3. Lack of commitment comes usually from not knowing what you want, or from not having the courage to take the right actions. Lack of commitment plays a huge role in interpersonal communication, since its so easy to spot it… and no one likes it. How to communicate effectively with someone who is not committed, who doesn’t pay attention or simply ignores you?!
If you found yourself at least once in the situations listed above, when do you think it’s the best time to work on your own issues: when a similar situation occurs? or in advance, so you are better prepared to communicate more effectively in any situation?