Close to the end of the coaching session, the client asked rhetorically: “Where did my inner cheerleader go?!”
We’ve started the session with the topic “How to be prepared for the upcoming important meeting”, that soon became “How do I get rid of the feeling of not being prepared (even if I do prepare)”. Suddenly, he realized he was carrying that feeling from a while, not being aware of it and its weight on his shoulders. Digging further, he discovered when that feeling showed up for the first time: right after the college graduation.
– I achieved many things before without getting that feeling. It showed up while starting to walk on the new path. I always had support and encouragement from my family until I went college, especially from my mom. But after graduation, she didn’t know anything about my new path, so her support faded away, and I found myself struggling to find a way forward in an unknown territory. That was 13 years ago.
– It looks to me that you relied more on external cheerleaders, and when they faded away your own inner cheerleader wasn’t there to support you, I said.
– What do you mean?
– Your parents, especially your mom, were your external cheerleaders. They supported you a lot when you were a child, and you archived many things. It seems they acted like external cheerleaders, relying on what they knew about life. When their knowledge was not enough anymore, they didn’t know how to encourage your inner cheerleader to take over. They could even do that earlier, if they knew how. They were encouraging you on specific situations, instead of helping you to build a strong belief in your own capabilities … which would activate your inner cheerleader (who would gladly be there with you for the rest of your life). You would even know how to access that belief, if you knew from an earlier age that you have an inner cheerleader.
– There were times when I believed more in myself before getting to college. So where did my inner cheerleader go?!
– He’s still there, hidden in a corner of your soul, waiting for you to wake him up and acknowledge his power.
– How do I do that?
– YOU tell me! (I challenged my client)
– You know, the last two weeks I practiced what I’ve learned from our previous sessions, and it went pretty well.
– Did you get that feeling of being unprepared when you practiced what you’ve learned recently?
– Not at all! Before each important meeting I’ve got into that attitude of being relaxed and confident and everything went smoothly, I even got new information to help me with the next steps.
(Confidence was the topic of the previous coaching session.)
– Look at you! Did you notice how confident you came across when you said that?! Your interlocutors certainly got it too during your last meetings.
– Yes I did, he said smiling, and I plan to remember the confidence I showed these last meetings … as a way to wake up my inner cheerleader!
– Good! And what will be your reminder for doing that, to avoid falling back into the negative feelings?
– Blue! The blue shirt that I love to wear when I have important meetings!
– Great! Good luck, than! And don’t forget to wake up your inner cheerleader even for small meetings or situations. More often you do it, sooner you’ll have full access to your inner cheerleader, whenever you’ll need.
After this session, I can’t help myself thinking: maybe being a great cheerleader for others won’t automatically wake up their own inner cheerleader … who’s an even more valuable resource for the future!
Encouraging people to take ownership of the situations they go through, trusting they’ll make it, and encouraging them to learn from their own mistakes and successes could shape a stronger inner cheerleader that will bring lifelong benefits.
What do you do to wake up your inner cheerleader, and access him whenever you need? 🙂
Gabriela Casineanu, Thoughts Designer