Several days ago I saw a lot of women pushing the strollers with their babies: in the subway, on streets, in buildings… everywhere I turned around that day. It was so weird! I didn’t remember last time when I saw a stroller.
That made me think about how parents want to lead the way for their children (me included!). As parents we want to control or influence our children lives, even when they are adults. We think we’re right, we know it all. Some parents even get upset if their children (now adults) don’t take in consideration their point of view. I’ve already passed that stage, huh!
Yesterday that image of strollers came back to me and I finally realized that I have to let go of wanting to lead the way for my children. They are adults now, they have they own life, they are different than me… who am I to think that I know better what’s good for them or not?!
I love to learn from my own experiences, to lead my life according to who I am and what I want. Of course, I can ask my parents for opinions, but I don’t want them to carry the weight of my own life on their shoulders anymore. And I won’t carry the weight of my children’s life on my shoulders either.. from now on! They’re free to come and talk to me, if they want, but I’ll ask questions to help them (re)discover who they are … instead of giving them my opinion or worry about what they want to do with their life.
It’s difficult sometimes to be as detached with your loved ones as you are with your own clients, and allow them be themselves without your need to control their lives!
Since yesterday, I pay more attention to let go of control in my relationships with my loved ones, to walk my talk … as I do with my coaching clients. What I like about coaching is that you’re not giving advice or lead the way for your clients, you’re just the facilitator that creates the environment for them to (re)discover themselves and create the life they want.
As you see, even a coach has to work on his own issues. They are not obvious, like in anyone else’s life. And the world is continually mirroring to us what we have to work on.
Do you pay attention? Do you learn from your life mirrors?
What do you think about this topic?
PS: Today I saw the word “Roots” many times… I’ll work on this one next. 😉
Gabriela Casineanu, M.Eng, MBA, ACC, ORSC